From the HBLL to the atrium of the Brimhall, from the depths of the JFSB to the Wilk, students are showing signs of sleep deprivation.
I’d like to classify them into five categories:
First, bench blenders.
I find you next to the HFAC stairs and in the Widtsoe restrooms. Your bench, that would comfortably seat three, allows you to catnap.
Second, chair contortionists.
You guys sleep in the craziest ways, crumpled in uncomfortable balls with your head back and mouth wide open. My uncle is a chiropractor and appreciates your business.
Third, nook nappers.
How do you find all these secret cubbies? How do you always access my Room of Requirement? I will admit you scare me sometimes as I come around those corners and stumble upon your lifeless form.
Fourth, desk droppers.
We’re both sitting in lecture next to one another, the lights go down and you’re out. Your neck bobbles back and forth as you fight off the sleep, but soon you are snuggled up in your arms.
Fifth, floor floppers.
You are my favorite. So beat tired, you’re willing to just drop where you are and catch up on your shut eye. I understand the most convenient place of all is the very ground we walk on.
Don’t be surprised if you wake up with a chalk line around you. I hope you are dreaming of candy and sugar plum fairies.
Sweet dreams to all, and just clean up after you drool.