Editor’s note: Rarely does The Daily Universe receive as many letters in response to one letter to the editor as it did to, “Message for sisters,” which was printed Dec. 12. These letters are a small sampling of the responses.
As long as men are allowed to use the Readers Forum to steady the ark of our dear Relief Society councils, allow me to put in my two cents. I hope this becomes a new series: “If I were Relief Society president. I’d teach the sisters:”
1) BYU guys make great dancers. You should marry one of us. We want you to.
2) RMs really are not creepy. Asking you on a second date doesn’t mean we’ve fabricated personal revelation telling ourselves that you’re our soul mate.
3) Bug-eyed sunglasses are cute indoors. Uggs too.
4) Posting “Will Open for Dates Only” on your door is doing just what an apostle told you to, which is uber-attractive to the guys who are worth dating.
5) We love to watch musicals with you. Your interests are our interests. We’re hard up for culture and thank you for bearing with us through the football games.
6) If we suggest watching “Terminator” or “Die Hard” together, we are asking you to break up with us. That’s the only way we get inspiration to write great songs for our band.
7) Expect a diamond. It’s not the diamond that matters, but the extra hours we worked to get it for you. It’s the earning, not the giving, that says “I love you.”
8) If BYU says that marriage is a major, then a major it is.
9) Don’t call us, we’ll call you. But please do answer.
10) Sisters, we love you.
Josh Guest
Klamath Falls, Ore.
The purpose of this letter is to defend the women that the author of “Message for sisters” so idiotically addressed in his letter.
Think. If the world were unfortunate enough to have you as a Relief Society president, you would be on the receiving end of your chauvinistic “message.” Reading between the lines, it seems as though you are in need of a date of your own. Given you’re bearable enough to deserve such an honor, here are some thoughts from another man’s perspective:
1) Yes, you really do have to watch “Step Up” with her. Get over it.
2) You are right: We (RMs) are awkward. Creepy awkward.
3) Bug-eyed sunglasses and furry boots are most definitely attractive.
4) Those girls took down that sign. It now reads, “Forget it.”
5) I own a musical, thank you very much.
6) Understand that any girl that goes to a football game is worth your time. She’s asking about the rules to show interest in you. Genius.
7) As for your eloquent diamond discourse: Do you know anything about women?
8) If marriage were a major, you’d never make it past the first prerequisite: Brains.
9) OK, fine. Ten percent of your list was true. But you killed the 3 percent chance of actually having a girl ask you out by writing your letter.
10) The words “You’re special,” will never, ever get you forgiven. Try apologizing for being stupid. Or flowers. Or both.
Calvin Olsen
Meridian, Idaho
If I were an Elder’s Quorum president I would teach the elders that:
1) Guys could learn a few more dance moves. Take a hint from “Hitch” and keep it at home base.
2) RMs are a bit awkward. Slow down those first few months and all of society will benefit.
3) Tight jeans and that free T-shirt you won in high school aren’t attractive.
4) What? Did you miss the fireside by Dallin H. Oaks?
5) We watch man movies, you can handle a couple chick flicks. Most guys are closet chick flick lovers anyway.
6) Sorry to ask questions at football games. We’re just trying to make you feel smart.
7) Why stop at cubic zirconium? Just get her a ring pop, and she can get a different color every week.
8) You’re right. Marriage isn’t a major. It’s more than that.
9) You can ask girls on dates. They won’t get offended.
10) Brothers, you’re special too.
MARY BENNION
Salt Lake City
DIANE STEWART
Spanish Fork
We’re glad you’re not our Relief Society president because you clearly don’t understand women. You’ve obviously had many problems dating women at BYU and are tired of being stereotyped as a “creepy RM.” We are just as tired of being stereotyped as “football illiterate sirens,” so get off your soapbox.
As far as marriage goes, many of the women here are not in search of a diamond ring. We’re here for an education. Although, we have to admit that the sign on our door hasn’t gotten us more dates, but it makes for a good laugh. Think again before stereotyping the thousands of women at BYU. We’re not all the same.
And remember, we’re all special.
HALEY NUTTALL
Lake Tapps, Wash.
AMBER COUREY
Boise, Idaho
If I were the friend of the person who wrote “Message for sisters,” I would tell him:
1) Girls don’t have to be thin and blonde to be “marriageable.”
2) You’re right. RMs can be awkward. I’ve always thought a Post-MTC would be helpful. Yet, many girls at BYU want to marry an RM, so be confident and not offended.
3) Furry boots keep feet warm.
4) Girls like guys who take an interest in things she likes. I know plenty of guys who enjoy, or try to enjoy, musicals, symphonies and “chick flicks.” It’s about being cultured, open-minded and willing to understand another person.
5) You obviously haven’t seen “Wicked.”
6) Maybe not all girls have watched hundreds of great footballs games, but maybe some of them do want to understand the rules. If you know the game so well and have any decency, you wouldn’t mind merely answering a girl’s questions.
7) Diamonds have become a symbol of commitment. You can definitely find a girl that wants a synthetic diamond, but when it comes down to it, she’ll be wearing the ring, not you. So get her something of lasting value that she likes.
8) A class on marriage may actually help you have a more successful marriage. If eternal marriage is most important, it won’t hurt to have some formal teaching on the subject.
9) Don’t call a girl “special” unless it is clearly not meant to be sarcastic. You’re more creative than that.
10) Don’t be bitter. Good luck.
NATALIE NELSON
Phoenix, Ariz.
I would like to answer the claims of the letter “Message for sisters.” Thanks for your potentially useful, if completely unsolicited, advice. While I was irritated at the over-generalization of both sexes, here are some responses to the 10 points the author made:
1) I agree. However, most girls do find dancers or men with physical grace very attractive.
2) It is not dating skills that girls think is creepy in RMs – it is the excessive zeal they have for marriage. The awkwardness is often more endearing than it is irritating.
3) We’re not wearing the sunglasses or the boots for you. We like them, and we don’t care what you think about them.
4) This is a valid point, except that I think someone ought to point out that it is a joke.
5) Some guys like musicals, some don’t. You, obviously, lump yourself in the latter category. Thanks for sharing.
6) Generally, girls go to the football games to chat. If you don’t like it, then go alone.
7)I see your point, but I would rather have a small diamond ring and live moderately for some years than get a cheap knockoff I would regret.
8) Thanks for pointing out that marriage isn’t a major. I think that some members of both genders really ought to take that to heart.
9) While I agree that it is perfectly acceptable for girls to ask guys out, many girls, especially at BYU, are more traditional. There is nothing wrong with this.
10) Yes. We are [special].
MARISSA MEMMOTT
Bakersfield, Calif.
If I were a Elder’s Quorum president I would teach the brethren that,
1) “Step Up”? is not just about the dancing. It’s about the message that anyone can change for the better.
2) The sisters understand that RMs haven’t dated for two years, but telling them that they could be the ONE on the second or third date is just plain creepy.
3) “Accidentally”? lapsing into your mission tongue is not that impressive.
4) If you would ask more girls on dates, there would be fewer signs taped on doors.
5) There are a lot of girls that like action movies, but they like to branch out a little too. If you want them to watch action movies with you, you should watch musicals with them.
6) Most girls go to football games to hang out with guys they like. They don’t really care about the game.
7) Real diamonds retain their value, just like the real men that buy them.
8) Most girls don’t come to BYU for an MRS. degree, but all the RMs raise the number that get one. 9) Guys should make the first move. It’s more impressive.
10) Brethren, be bold!
SHILOH WHITE
Grand Junction, Colo.
1) I’m a BYU guy and a dancer. When would you like to watch “Step Up” again? Oh, and I can sing.
2) I am an RM, but have been on enough dates to get past the “awkward” stage.
3) If you feel beautiful in sunglasses and furry boots, then I think you look attractive.
4) I’ll knock on your door if it says “Will Open for Dates.”
5) I’d love to watch a musical with you. In fact, I’d watch “Newsies” or “Wicked” over “Terminator” or “Die Hard” any day.
6) I go to football games to socialize. Feel free to ask me questions about the rules, but I’d probably prefer to ask questions about you.
7) Diamonds are expensive, but if that’s what you want, you’re worth it.
8) Marriage is a major part of life – as is education, the real reason you came to BYU.
9) You can ask guys on dates. I won’t be offended. Feel free to ask me anytime.
10) Yeah, you’re special. Did I mention I can sing?
NATHAN CASHION
San Diego, Calif
