Editorial: “Only Hurting Yourself”

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    Buddha summed up the wages of anger most succinctly when he said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Unfortunately, in his brevity, Buddha failed to mention that blind rage can also scorch those we care about most.

    A 32-year-old Payson man learned that lesson the hard way Sunday. He was driving down a street in Orem with his wife and children when he exchanged angry words with a local man. The Orem man pursued the family and tailgated their Chevy Suburban. In the heat of the moment, the Payson man stomped on the brakes. In the collision, his wife suffered neck injuries. Both men were cited for reckless driving and disorderly conduct.

    It would have been interesting to talk to these individuals the next day to ask them a few simple questions. What exactly did they become so angry about? Was one driving too slowly? Did one cut the other off? What did the Orem driver feel was important enough to pursue the other driver? What exactly did the Payson driver hope to accomplish by stopping short? Most importantly, we would like to ask them, was it all worth it?

    The ancient Scottish motto “Nemo me impune laccessit,” or “No one harms me unpunished,” perfectly encapsulates our tendency to anger quickly and to justify ourselves in seeking redress for perceived offenses. But in the wake of a blind rage, we often discover that angry words and actions were exchanged, but no conflict was resolved.

    In our own lives, it would be prudent to turn inward and ask how many of the day-to-day trivial matters are worth the emotional energy we invest in them. What was accomplished by engaging in a shouting match with a roommate over a sink of dirty dishes? While we believe sanitation is noble virtue, we should maintain a long-term perspective. Even if the dishes are cleaned in the short term, what consequences will that plate full of sharp words and actions have? Will they cost us the chance of having a friend instead of just a roommate?

    To say we just snapped or others made us lose our tempers are shoddy, immature excuses. When all is said and done, we must face the truth and realize we are responsible for our words and actions – whether bad or good. The next time we feel the urge to throw a hot coal, pause and ask if it’s worth scorching ourselves or those we care about. More often than not, the answer is no.

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