By Jennifer Davis
One of the biggest adjustments after coming home from a mission is not having a companion twenty-four hours a day. There is no longer anyone around to help make decisions.
“You will feel all alone. I remember that as clear as can be and it”s been 50 years since I”ve been home,” said Garth A. Hanson, associate professor of organization at BYU and former mission president in Romania.
The important thing to do is to create a support system of people who can be trusted so that important decisions don”t have to be made alone, he said.
“After your mission, you need to find your source of support,” he said. “Your parents are only a small part of that.”
The support system is vital because of all the important, long lasting decisions one needs to make after the mission, including marriage, career, schooling and transportation.
Also, remembering lessons taught on the mission help one to make good decisions. For example, going to bed early and waking up early.
“If you don”t get up in the morning, you are forgetting an important lesson of the mission-a decision made at 6:30 in the morning is better than one made at 10:30 at night,” he said.
It is also important to maintain dress appearances and standards. One of Hanson”s missionaries came home and decided to rebel by growing out long hair and a beard. When the new sister missionaries in the ward mistook him for an investigator and started teaching him the first lesson, he decided it was time to shave.
“What a dumb time to rebel, when you need all this help,” Hanson said.
Decision making after the mission can be difficult, but the more knowledge that is acquired, the more inspiration is received, which leads to revelation given, he said.
One of the ways to make decisions with parents is through a responsibility interview, Hanson said. This requires sitting down with parents with a plan. The plan should include a clearly defined issue (school, finance) a discussion of all parts of the issue, an agreement of who contributes what, a follow-up session and adjustments as necessary.
Not only can parents help make decisions, but also a personal board of directors.
“It [a personal board of directors] provides information you don”t have so that you can make better decisions than you would be able to make with out them.”
Everyone has a personal board of directors, which can include parents, bishops, mission presidents, specialists, educators or friends.
The members on the board should have expertise in something, should know the individual well and should be readily available.
Even though it is important to ask for help, the ultimate decision falls on the individual. Not all advice is always wise.
“Some of the worst counselors in the world are roommates and friends,” he said.
After gaining the knowledge, the key is to implement the knowledge and move forward.
