Readers’ Forum, Mar. 13, 2006

    50

    Help with divorce

    I found it unfortunate that the article “Dealing with divorce” didn’t address dealing with divorce. There was a story about how tough it is to be divorced in the BYU culture and the other addressed the growing rate of temple-marriage divorces and that marriage is work. The advice given was to go to therapy while you are married. Although that is a good preventative measure, it still does not help those who are divorced. What about the unfortunate circumstances in which there is a divorce? Where is the help? How can they deal with it?

    I find it unfortunate that Mr. Simmons experiences that form of ostracism here at BYU. There is help and hope though. There is a divorce adjustment group available at the BYU Comprehensive Clinic that will begin soon. The group is designed to help those who are divorced. If you have felt or feel how Mr. Simmons feels please call the BYU Comprehensive Clinic at 422-7759. We are here to help.

    Jeffrey Lee

    Golden, Colo.

    Understanding divorce

    I would like to echo some of what was said in the recent Daily Universe article, “Dealing with divorce.” Both of my parents are twice divorced, so while I have not been divorced myself, I have seen and felt its deep and lasting effects – some of which have been caused by the prejudice of members who just don’t understand. I have seen how members cringe at the word and refuse to deal with it as the reality it is.

    If you are one of those who have never had to feel the ravaging damage of divorce, consider yourself blessed, but realize you may not be able to fully understand what it is for those who have not been so fortunate. Among the divorced of our Church are countless faithful men and women who were victims of their partners’ abuse or lack of commitment to covenants.

    So please, next time you feel uncomfortable or inclined to judge someone for their divorced status, take a moment to realize you don’t know his or her situation and possibly couldn’t fully understand it if you did. It’s sad that, as a Church, we often shun some of those who need our help and love the most.

    Paul McNeil

    Tucson, Ariz.

    Beautiful morning wife

    I would like to dispute Joseph Simmons’ comments in “Divorce: A forbidden word at BYU.” He said, “The fact of marriage is that you wake up in the morning and your spouse is next to you and they look hideous and their breath smells terrible.” Although this may have been a “fact” in Simmons’ marriage, I have been married for nearly seven years and my wife has never been anything but beautiful in the morning. Also, I have never remarked about her breath smelling in any way.

    My appearance (and breath) in the morning may be a different story though.

    Jeremy Browne

    San Jose, Calif.

    Complexity of Iraq

    I’ve seen both sides quote the polls done in Iraq to make their points. After researching the matter I can see why. Critics can point out that 46 percent of Iraqis say the U.S. led occupation has made life worse while only 33 percent say life is better. The rest say it is about the same. But despite this, when asked if ousting Saddam was worth the hardship, 61 percent responded yes. That is higher than any other country with the possible exception of Israel.

    Looking at all the data, a very generalized summary would be that Iraqis view the coalition presence as an occupation and want them to leave as soon as possible, though not until security is restored. They don’t like Bush or American tactics. Yet they believe the invasion was worth getting rid of Saddam. It’s even more interesting if you break down the numbers. Sunnis (Saddam is Sunni) overwhelmingly oppose the invasion, Kurds (the most oppressed under Saddam) support it by 97 percent and Shiites (the slight majority) support it but much more narrowly. There are several studies to look at, with similar results, but for a good summary go to http://www.usatoday.com/news/graphics/iraq_poll/flash.htm.

    David Holland

    Henderson Nev.

    BYU needs med school

    University of Utah’s Medical School is ridiculously rigid in its admissions policy. Hundreds of hopeful Utah natives apply to the only local institution touting a medical school and are rejected, resulting in great frustration for competent and qualified BYU students. Therefore we leave; why live in a state that will not accommodate our professional aspirations?

    Consequently, I make an earnest plea to the Board of Trustees to consider the establishment of a BYU medical school. Scorn if you will, but I am not joking! Now is the time for BYU to begin fulfilling its destiny. As of now, BYU’s progressive potential is not being realized. We can have a tremendous influence on research and developments in the medical world. President Samuelson himself has a well-qualified resume to establish a credible medical school. I realize the financial implications associated with such an endeavor, but the future will certainly not afford a more costly option.

    BYU is prophesied to one day excel in all academic fields. Let us end the tyrannical monopoly of the University of Utah and begin forging the path of BYU’s destiny – a destiny of excellence and superiority in all academia, not just law and business.

    Brad Reid

    Orem

    Auto-pedestrian accident lesson

    According to Wednesday’s paper, a pregnant woman was hit crossing the street at a labeled crosswalk, holding a dayglow-orange flag. The truck stopped 10 feet away, the flag hit the ground 20 feet away, and the pregnant woman was rushed to the hospital. Now, tell me, all you drivers who complain about pedestrians: who sustained more damage? Ms. Erb, or Mr. Solosabal’s truck?

    I’m 6’2″ and 280 lbs. I am by no means a small target, and yet I cannot count the number of times that I have had close calls that almost turned out like this in broad daylight. I wait until the road is clear, and then I carefully make my way across, because I don’t trust that the drivers will actually yield to me, like they’re lawfully supposed to – and they usually don’t.

    This, however, was a pregnant girl who was doing everything conceivable to let drivers know that she was crossing the street, and to do so safely. My own wife is 6 months pregnant, and I shudder to think what might happen if she were the one hit while crossing the street.

    Please, for the sake of my wife if nothing else, yield to pedestrians. Remember, a pregnant woman is a whole lot more fragile than a pickup truck.

    Larry Walton

    Provo

    Patience with ignorance

    When I read Luciana Loureiro’s viewpoint, “Brazilian is not Hispanic,” I thought, I know how she feels. It is common for people to run across misconceptions and ignorance when they are not in their own country. I remember on my mission in Peru being asked if I was from Utah itself, or one of the suburbs. What is Utah, a city? I don’t remember how many people asked me why I was “unnaturally tall” and even asked me for money, like $50, saying “It’s nothing to you; you can afford it.”

    That kind of thing really bugged me until I realized the Peruvians didn’t mean anything by it. They just didn’t know much about the United States. What little knowledge they had came from TV and movies. I think the same thing happens here in Utah. I’ve never been to Brazil, and I don’t know much about it, so I could easily ask an insensitive question without meaning to.

    So bear with us, Ms. Loureiro, if in our ignorance we rub you the wrong way. If you are patient with us North Americans you could go a long way to increasing knowledge and understanding of your great country.

    Eric Callison

    Salem

    Paying councilmembers

    Now I’m no math major, so correct me if I’m wrong, but Karen Sorenson’s Thursday article on the Provo City Council just didn’t add up. After initially reading of the claim that Provo City Council members are earning $5 an hour, I pulled out the calculator on my cell phone and did some quick figuring.

    The article stated that council members currently receive a compensation for their labors of $9,500, working anywhere between 20-25 hours a week. Being liberal, I assumed they worked 25 hours a week all 52 weeks of the year. Using the information printed, I found they were earning around $2.30 and hour more than the article stated, and will be earning nearly $10 an hour after the pay raise, double the wage assumed by Karen Sorenson.

    But the real issue remains, should they paid anything at all? Politics in ancient Greece were driven by the Sophos to which Hugh Nibley in “Beyond Politics” calls “completely selfless, oblivious to his own comfort, health, appearance, and appetites as [the] mind came to grips with the problem of achieving one particular objective.” What message is the Provo City Council sending as to their true objectives?

    Scott Jensen

    Sandy

    Print Friendly, PDF & Email