By Meagan Jackman
A lecture Thursday, Nov. 20, from the “Being Enough” lecture series addressed how people can begin to heal from any pain they may feel.
BYU graduate Lili Anderson spoke about how self-esteem has been distorted. She said a person”s problem stems from more than a poor self-esteem.
Anderson said people feel the way they do for three reasons. The first reason is people feel an actual state of emptiness.
“We feel a longing and an emptiness to return home to our Heavenly Father,” Anderson said. “We might just have to suffer this pain-it might be an earthly experience.”
The second reason people have poor self-esteems is because of sin.
“Sometimes people say they do not feel good about themselves, but it is because they are not living right,” Anderson said.
When people do not live according to the Lord”s way, people will not feel good about themselves. The Lord will not allow it, Anderson said.
“When I am not doing what I should, I feel so horrible,” said Lisa Johnson, a sophomore from Houston majoring in marriage family human development. “Just knowing how I will feel prevents me from making bad decisions.”
Anderson”s final reason people feel bad is that they have been hurt.
“We do get hurt,” Anderson said. “Everybody gets hurt. We are going to experience this as we grow up.”
People experience physical pain and emotional pain. Many times emotional pain comes from criticism.
“There is no such thing as constructive criticism,” Anderson said. “There are better ways to teach and express feelings.”
Constructive criticism causes damage to the person. People soon develop complexes about themselves where they think they are not good enough, she said.
“We do not have the right to do that,” Anderson said.
Anderson also discussed the healing process to recover from hurt. One of the first steps in the healing process is to understand where the hurt is coming from and why is it there, she said.
One of the most helpful ways of dealing with the pain is to write about it. Through writing, people will be gain a clearer picture of the problem and where it is coming from. After the writing process is over, Anderson told people to get rid of the writings.
“Rip it, shred it, burn it. Just don”t keep it,” Anderson said.
Anderson concluded her lecture by saying that ultimate healing comes only in two ways. The first is by having an eternal perspective and the second by seeing ourselves only as God sees us.