We, the proud constituents of Brigham Young University come in all our various flavors: liberal, conservative, clueless, anal-retentive. People may laugh at the idea of diversity at BYU, but if you want proof, just read the letters on this page.
Fortunately, amidst this swirl of difference, we do hold true to one common thread. There is a bond between each of us that sits so deeply rooted in our souls that we may never break away from it. You’ve guessed it, right?
Mormons, eh? That’s an easy one. Actually, that’s not it.
The bond is much stronger. It is the sealant of unity we call complaining.
Everyone on this campus is a complainer. I don’t care what you think or where you are in school, every BYU student and the majority of the faculty – I’ve learned – always has something to gripe about. Me included.
Girls should be more modest.
People shouldn’t eat meat.
Why does the grounds crew waste so much water?
Yada, yada, yada.
Astonishingly, I’ve noticed a lack of quality complaining as of late. What’s going on here? Do we need some type of a catalyst? When was the last time BYU students didn’t have something to whine about over a bowl of ice cream?
Fellow complainers, it’s time to get your complain on. Let’s see if I can’t get you going.
For starters, I can’t believe they are raising tuition again. I mean, honestly, we already pay so much compared to every other university in the nation, and the quality of our education only ranks in the top percentages every year. Another $45 is going to break us. I know other universities in this state have raised tuition hundreds of dollars, but this is BYU. We shouldn’t even have to pay tuition here, aren’t we all members?
Furthermore, what’s with this “you have to have at least 120 credits to graduate” crap? Why can’t we just call it quits when we feel adequately filled with a limited sphere of superficial knowledge?
And what about teachers that don’t give extra credit or extend due dates? Seriously, our high school teachers did. It’s almost as if they’re trying to hold us to a more responsible level here. How unfair.
Why can’t we have Coke and Dr. Pepper in the machines?
Why are things closed during devotionals?
Why can’t I strip down and sunbathe in front of the HFAC?
Why do we have to sign an honor code and wear modest clothes? And how come those who aren’t modest get away with it?
I just can’t understand why we have all these regulations and high standards. What do they expect from us? That we should grow up and act like responsible adults who chose to come here in the first place?
Do they want us to realize that BYU is not like the world outside of it?
Why can’t we just be like everyone else and lower our standards?
Scary, it is, to read and relate to all of this. Fortunately, I just joined the BYUMCCC where my complaining counts. It’s the latest insignificant club on campus: the BYU Mal-Content Complainers Club. Registration is easy and fast. All you have to do is pay the application fee of $1575 and sign this silly paper they call the Honor Code, and voila – a life of complaining awaits you.
Just remember, you make the choice to sign.
