By Britt Balkcom
For BYU seniors who are single and are graduating this month with no apparent marital prospects, there may still be time to meet, date, propose, and get engaged – all before the diploma arrives in the mail in May.
Some call it the two-week wonder. Others call it crazy.
Mike Simpson, 25, an MBA candidate from Orem, met his wife in a local college ward. After what some may consider an accelerated dating period, Simpson and his new girlfriend got engaged.
“The first time I actually spent time with her was helping her move,” Simpson said. “She was getting ready to go on a mission. Two weeks later we were engaged.”
Simpson said that he and his wife “just clicked” and that neither one nor the other had the feeling that they needed to put on a show.
“Life”s going great so far. We”re just happy. We never went through the first-year marital adjustment so many couples experience,” Simpson said. “From the get-go, it was total joy together.”
Sarah Badger, a Preparation for Marriage course instructor, says that two weeks is too short.
“The research shows that ideally you need to know someone for a year,” Badger said. “I counsel couples to date a little longer because you need to figure out what each other”s marital expectations are.”
Not all quick engagements translate into happy marriages.
Cammy Slade, 23, from Mountain Home, Idaho got a knock on her apartment door one November afternoon. She opened it to find a Starving Student Card salesman who turned out to be selling her a bit more than a meal card.
After Starving”s salesman invited Slade on a date, Slade said she started to fall for him.
“He was Mr. Romantic, Mr. Wonderful,” Slade said. “He drew me pictures, bought me gifts, and wrote me poems.”
Two weeks after the salesman showed up at Slade”s door, the couple became engaged. One month after that, Slade, a returned missionary, married him wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
He told Slade that because he had been married in the temple previously, a civil marriage was needed before they could be sealed.
“That wasn”t the plan. I swore I wasn”t going to be one of those girls,” Slade said.
Looking back now, Slade said she should have paid better attention to the warning signs that were exhibited before the marriage, but she also said that the speed of her courtship did not allow her to really get to know her husband.
As it turned out, Slade”s salesman was too good to be true. Slade said he lied to her about just about everything-from his age, to his marital history, to his Olympic athletic performance.
“He told me that he was an Olympic athlete for Mexico,” Slade said. “He showed me some certificates. It was all a big lie.”
Slade said it was not until after the marriage (six weeks after meeting him) that she discovered he was a con artist who was a habitual liar.
Slade, whose marriage has lasted about as long as the courtship, is in the process of getting the marriage annulled. She said she wishes she would have stood up for herself more.
“I”ve learned that the most romantic guys can also be the most control-oriented and manipulative,” Slade said.
