Currently at BYU we have a raging debate over parking passes and bus privileges. It would be just for those who rode the bus to pay for it. It would be merciful for those who drove cars to offset the cost of the UTA plan. However, we feel there is another way for justice and mercy to be satisfied: Fines.
Fines would not only generate money to pay for the UTA bus pass, but would allow the owners of cars to pay the current $15 price. Since the fines currently administered at BYU are not sufficient to generate funds for this massive undertaking, we have compiled a list of suggested fines as an alternative to pay for the bus service and parking stickers.
1. Devotional Fine: $10 fine for not going to the devotional and $5 for not attending a forum.
2. More Late Fees: The late fees in the testing center would be raised to $8.32. In addition, we would begin charging late fees for coming to class late and arriving late for sporting events. Fines are doubled for being late to church.
3. Cell Phone Fine: A $20 fee would be given for any cell phone that rings in class. An additional $5 would be added for anyone who answers his phone and talked during class.
4. Fountain Fine: A $5 fee will be assessed for anyone filling up a water bottle in the tall drinking fountain.
5. “Chose not to Give” Fine: Anyone who does not “choose to give” will be fined. The fine will be determined by what type of car he drives.
6. Slow Moving Violation: Anyone who clogs the walking lanes between classes will be fined up to $50.
7. The Immodesty Fine: $3 for every inch of skin that shows of the midriff or the belly, up to $8. Certain people will be fined for poor taste in clothing as well.
8. Random Boot fine: This fine would be just for fun. The University Parking enforcement could randomly choose cars to boot and then charge students to remove the boot. (Hey, everyone else does it.)
Having and enforcing these fines would not only generate money, but would also force us to be good. Of course, the way to implement this system is to send out a campus-wide email informing the students of the changes. If we did it in the form of a survey, no one would respond and then it would be law. Anyone who disagreed with or deleted the university e-mail would, of course, be fined.
NEAL PETERSON
Kansas City, Mo.
TRAVIS AUSTIN
Snowflake, Ariz.
