I’d like to publicly commend the efforts of a recent letter for its valiant mullet glorification. I agree fully that the mullet is indeed “eternal” and it continues to flourish.
As long as there are monster truck shows and professional wrestling matches, the mullet will be alive and well. We can oppress it, but it will not fade.
The mullet shouldn’t be banned at BYU, but rather should be considered a university treasure. Not only is it beautiful and dynamic, but it stands as the true symbol of the American dream.
I am ashamed that we outlaw mullets yet allow the portraits of the prom queens to decorate the walls of our beloved Wilkinson Student Center. I am not disgusted because they are derogatory or demeaning, but because not one — no, not a single one — is sporting a mullet (or a mull-ette as the female version is affectionately called).
So, to appease both mullet and female activists alike, I propose that we replace the prom portraits with our favorite famous mullets. The assortment is nearly endless. Some of the greats include John Stamos, Dave Coulier, WCW superstar Ric Flair, Mitch the Mullet from the bowling alley (the permed one), and Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver).
Just imagine, instead of viewing the prom queens we could enjoy the splendor of the mullet basking in all of its glory for generations to come.