I am writing to expose a conspiracy that is running rampant at this university — parking tickets. Sure, everyone at BYU can buy a parking pass, but what is the pass to parking spot ratio?
I am not one to complain without offering solutions so I have provided three scenarios that could provide a solution to this problem.
My first solution is for all of you who have the heinous job of ticketing your fellow brothers and sisters. Rise up and rebel! If we refuse to ticket each other then the problem is solved. We could even take an “A” parking or handicapped slot if we wanted.
My second solution is that since most of BYU’s funding comes from tithing and parking tickets, I suggest a trade-off. I recommend that half the money we pay in parking tickets be tithing deductible.
And third, why don’t we just get shuttles that go around the parking lots and shuttle everyone to class? I know I wouldn’t mind if tuition went up $5 to pay for these shuttles. Even UVSC has shuttles.
Now I realize I have probably made myself a target for the BYU traffic officers so I will make it easier on everyone. Mine is the car that says “Bateman” on the license plate.
La Mirada, Calif.