BY KAREN GUTKE
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spoke to BYU students at Tuesday’s Devotional about having true Christ-like love for others in friendships, dating, serious courtship and ultimately in marriage.
“Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You seperate dating from discipleship at your peril. Or to phrase that more positively, Jesus Christ, the light of the world, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness for you and your sweetheart.
“How should I love thee? As he does,” Elder Holland said.
Elder Holland told students how important he feels that having charity in relationships is.
“I believe that second only to your membership in the church, your membership in a marriage is the most important association you will have in time and eternity,” he said, “I don’t think I have heard anybody say it more clearly,” said Ryan Painter, a sophomore majoring in mechanical engineering, from West Valley City, Salt Lake County.
Holland said Jesus Christ was the divine example of giving charity to others.
“True charity, the absolutely pure love of Christ, has really been known only once in this world-in the form of Christ himself, the Son of the living God. As in everything, Christ is the only one who got it right, did it all perfectly, loved the way that we are all trying to love,” he said.
Elder Holland referred to Elizabeth Browning’s poem “How Do I Love Thee?” and encouraged the students to reflect on how they show their love for others. He then said there were three elements to divine love.
First, true love lacks ego and consuming self-centeredness.
“There are many qualities you will want to look for in a friend or a serious date or eternal companion, but surely among the very first and most will be that of a care and sensitivity towards others, a minimum of self-centeredness that allows compassion, and courtesy to be evident,” Elder Holland said.
Elder Holland told students that becoming less selfish happens when we aren’t thinking about ourselves.
“True love blooms when we care more about another person that we care about ourselves. That is Christ’s great atoning example for us and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships,” he said.
“I could feel the love and admiration that Elder Holland has for his wife. I think that that he is a great example for me and how I should treat my future wife,” said Quincy Walker, a freshman from Logandale, Nev., majoring in biology.
Second, Holland taught that real love is not easily provoked, thinks no evil of each other and does not rejoice in sin.
He related the story of Shakespeare’s play Othello as an example of thinking evil of one’s partner. Othello could have saved his love if he had only thought that she was pure, he said.
“Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad,” he said. Finally, the true love of Christ “bears, believes, hopes and endures all things perfectly.”
“We are invited to do the same in our courtship and in our marriage to the best of our ability. Bear up and be strong. Be hopeful and believing. We have to hope for an end to such sorrows and difficulty, we have to endure until things come right in the end,” he said.
“I always look forward to hearing Elder Holland talk. He is one of my favorite speakers because somehow what he says always seems to relate to what I am going through,” said Rachel Hendrickson, a senior from Spokane, Wash., majoring in psychology.
