By GARNET DEAKINS
garnet@newsroom.byu.edu
Every Friday afternoon of my freshman year, I remember someone coming into the lobby of our beloved Fugal hall and howling, 'Have you guys seen Police Beat yet?' We would rip open the Daily Universe faster than a care package from mom. Everyone would gather close or collapse onto the floor somewhere nearby to read the Police Beat. We would sometimes read our favorites again and again. We loved to discover all of the embarrassing, stupid, strange, or scary things that could only happen at BYU.
Who hasn't at one point dreamed of gracing the columns of police beat? Freshmen are famous for devising the most outrageous plans to make the weekly report. I'll admit, even I did my share of scheming, but rarely, if ever, did we follow through with the wild ideas.
Actually over the course of our freshman year, my friends and I did make police beat -- twice. It was completely unintentional, but nonetheless very exciting. Once the bathroom-ceiling fan upstairs caught on fire and they had to evacuate the entire building early Saturday morning. Just my luck, it was snowing outside and I was in the shower at the time. But I survived and lived to proudly pin the police beat article on every door in the building. Later that year, we again left our mark on police beat history, when we had a group date down in the basement and someone decided to climb down into the window well and drop their drawers.
The next year, I moved off campus and began the life of an upper classman; however, Police Beat remained one of my most important weekly rituals. I would pick up the paper on my way to class and chuckle over the latest BYU crisis. Sometimes, I would cut out the best Police Beat articles and send them to my freshman buddies who were then serving missions in far off Brazil, Denmark, and Blackfoot Idaho.
As I got further into my BYU career, people began to ask what I was going to do with the rest of my life. The flippant answer that I always gave was, 'My greatest aspiration in life is to write Police Beat for the Daily Universe.' Which usually sparked laughter as we conversed over our favorite Police Beat stories of the past. (Oh yes, the avid Police Beat audience not only reads, but cherishes each article and recalls them every once in a while with an evil little smile.)
During my first week at the Daily Universe, I scanned the list of assigned beats and my eye rested on the unbelievable, the unimaginable and the most exciting bit of news ever. I, Garnet Rose Deakins, was assigned to do the Police Beat. I ran home that night, 'Guys! Guys! You'll never guess who is doing Police Beat this semester.' The apartment erupted in excitement as only seven girls can. From then on, my friends have introduced me by saying 'This is Garnet, she writes Police Beat.'
This article concludes my brief interlude as compiler of Police Beat. I bid a fond farewell to my friends at University Police and the weekly installment that has granted me 15 minutes of BYU fame. Through my experiences this semester, I have learned that there are certain things that everyone wants to know about Police Beat. Here are some common questions:
Q. How can I get in Police Beat?
A. I would not recommend trying to get into Police Beat. It may bring you more sorrow than it is worth. But if you break the law, get hurt, or do something stupid and get caught doing it, you may find your story splashed across the page.
Q. Are the stories printed in Police Beat true?
A. Yes. These are real things that happen at BYU to real live BYU students.
Q. Do you ever make up stories? If I give you a story, will you put it in?
A. No and no.
Q. Where do you get the stories for Police Beat?
A. Every week, I visit the University Police Department and I sit down with Lt. Greg Barber to go over the police reports for the week. We discuss trends and things that are important for people to know about crime and safety on campus and then we discuss the cases that should go into the Police Beat.
Q. Is Police Beat just a joke or are you really serious about these things?
A. No, Police Beat is not a joke. It originally started in the 1970s as part of the public information act. Universities are required to publish information about crime and violence on campus. The truth is, BYU does not have a lot of high profile crime. The majority of crimes on campus are petty thefts and people acting stupid. I believe that it is important to publish all of these things so that the university community will be aware of trends in crime. It is also important that we develop a sense of humor about ourselves and laugh a little about the funny things that only seem possible at BYU.